The many words I’ve written on many pages are going off to be sent off and scrutinised, discarded, red-carded, rearranged and tut-tutted. Or as commonly known, edited. I am going full adult. Hiring professionals. Getting invoiced. Peeps, I’ve been given a DEADLINE. I’ve adulted myself right in the kahunas.
So I have recovered from last weeks little red-cheeked dummy spit. I am once again the epitome of calm. A picture of serenity.
There must be one hell of a sale on these little gems because every soggy blighter has one.
There are those who like to wield their opinion like a rusty broadsword dipped in rabies-juice and rolled in rainbow sprinkles of bubonic plague. They jab their colourful little swords, digging in deep, laughing at their keyboards, enjoying being mean for the sake of it. The internet has been to trolls what the cane beetle was to the cane toad. Glorious opportunity.
Some places speak to you as a writer. They can say things like ‘Hello, I am your imagination’s nirvana and I will inspire you to heights of true writing mastery.’ Often it’s more like ‘Stop walking round and round this library cause it’s exam time and you have jack-shit chance of getting a better seat than that one over by the automatic doors and the garbage bin. Sit down for the love of god, you could have written the Bible by now. In three languages.’
Sometimes the places don’t say anything at all. They don’t need to, because they are the god damn Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth lovechild of places. They are the ‘Look at me I am GLORIOUS’ of locations.
So, did something a little bit wild, a little bit cray-cray last night.
Minds out of the gutter people, minds OUT of the gutter. Thankfully the days of that kind of behaviour are ancient history, lost in the shadows of the nineties. Blessedly before the time of camera phones and social media. (more…)
First up, apologies to REM. Don’t sue me. It will be a waste of your time I can assure you. I’m an unpublished writer. Nuff said.
Secondly, I went to a writers’ conference on the weekend and I realised something. I’m really not good at this grand old, completely terrifying, monstrosity they call networking. (Cue scary music. Cut to B/W scene of old Dracula movie) which might well be a problem considering I’m going to self-publish in November. I have issues with the socials.